8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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