He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
