butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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