i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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