Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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