this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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