Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
