No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize