Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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