I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
