I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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