New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
