Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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