Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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