There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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