It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
