Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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