yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
