He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
