Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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