I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
