Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
