hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just tell him i said nine months
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
