Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize