nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
