Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
