Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
