I CAN MOONWALK!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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