You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
