I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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