Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
