at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
