WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
