Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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