I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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