She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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