I wish i was in the wii world.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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