You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
