My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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