So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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