My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
