In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize