THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
