I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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