I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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