Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
