Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
