Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
