is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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