I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
