Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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