Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm jealous of your bromance
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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