i think i have two assholes
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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