I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
