I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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