me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
