I wish I could teleport
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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