Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize