I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
No subtext here. People are naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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