I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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