Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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