im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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