I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
