I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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